Just so we’re all on the same demented page here, I’m an unabashed music lover. Even if I’m not into a particular music genre, I try to keep an open mind. Well, that is, until the guitar shredders ruined everything. I try to understand music that I can hear, but how on Buddha’s green earth am I supposed to even hear music played at a blistering 400 beats per second?
I’ve come to a conclusion as well as coined a brand new genre of music. Shocking, I know. Shred guitar and anything associated with it shall henceforth be referred to as Musical Masturbation. Music played that fast is simply for self-gratification and nothing more. Most people listening to guitar shredders aren’t moved by their music – They simply appreciate the technical skills it takes to play guitar at tremendous speeds. I appreciate it to a certain extent as well, but frankly, technical skill is all it is. Furthermore, most of the people out there who love this sort of music are simply fellow shredders. Go ahead, deny it. I’ll duck as the flaming begins.
Now before you get your 80s Ibanez’s in a bunch, I’m fully aware that I’m speaking in general terms – There are exceptions to mindless guitar shredders as with every other rule. Some tasteful shredders that come to mind include Joe Satriani, Steve Vai and Eric Johnson. Hell, even Yngwie Malmsteen has some genuinely beautiful music in between all that guitar wanking.
Who else out there is tired of musical masturbation? Yes, I know that music should be first and foremost for the musician to enjoy, but honestly, with all that technicality…is there any music left?
